Dear Mom & Dad,

Don’t read this.

I have to admit, I don’t have the best sense of direction.  Alright.  So NOT getting lost is a serious accomplishment for me, but I assure you, this didn’t happen in California.  It’s the signs.  Or lack thereof.  I blame them entirely.  There just aren’t any here – or not any clear ones.  No offense to the Northeast, but I’m not accustomed to turning right at the fat tree trunk because you can’t see the small sign hidden between the lush green tree branches and old telephone lines.  I’m not used to one way streets or no street lights at all.

Luckily, Ira the iPhone is my car companion and accompanies me on every excursion, so I rely heavily upon him for his mad navigation skills.  While on my way to a wedding on Saturday, it was not out of the ordinary that I had to utilize Ira’s awesome GPS-like functionalities to get me to my destination after the paper directions proved to be not quite as detailed as this directionally challenged girl might need.  Now, while Ira does have a map and written directions, it’s not a real GPS – it only has a general sense where you are and doesn’t talk to you, so oftentimes I get more lost.  And, yes, as much as I try to pull over and read directions it’s not always practical and I can only remember so many steps ahead so I drove while multi-tasking.  Shhh.  I told you not to read this Mom & Dad.  I know.  A big no-no to all and especially to a girl taught on her first driving lesson that the car is “a lethal weapon.”

After a talk with Mr. Hallmark, we’ve decided.  A GPS is on the horizon for the Hallmark family (AKA the directionally challenged Mrs. H.)  And, because I believe in signs, New York gave me one.  After taking Sophie out first thing in the morning yesterday, I picked up the paper and saw this on the front page:

Yikes.  Perhaps I got my sign after all.

Happy Monday, Internet.  PUT THOSE CELL PHONES DOWN!